Kenosha and Waukesha could be BLM’s Lexington and Concord — The Angry Dad

Nathan Roberts
4 min readNov 24, 2021

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Call it the hit and runs heard round the world. A poor, misguided, wicked, criminally violent soul who spent his life piling up frequent flyer miles in the hands of police (but was living wild and free and easy because…compassion) decided to take a joyride through the middle of a Christmas parade. Those weren’t speedbumps, my man. They were living, breathing people but mostly white so who cares. It’s a shame he wasn’t killed in the ordeal. Not because I want him dead. I’m not a vengeful kind of guy. But because despicable people are the extreme left’s favorite candidates for sainthood in the Church of Progressivism.

I won’t presume to read his mind or divine his motivations but something tells me he wanted to kill white people due to Waukesha’s proximity to Kenosha, the timing of the attack coinciding with the not guilty verdict of Rittenhouse’s trial, and Christmas parades being something only white people do. I’m sure you’ll forgive the wild speculation because I’m a journalist for a highly respected publication in service only to the truth, and wild speculation is part of the territory.

Speaking of wild speculation, this BLM activist posited that the revolution may have begun. None of the major news networks returned Thirsty for Click ‘s request for comment (because none was actually made) as to whether or not the revolution will be televised. One imagines if they’re starving for ratings in the February/March slumps we can expect a reasonable amount of fair, unbiased, objective coverage. I for one, couldn’t be more super-jazzed to see a revolution from the cultural Marxists, pushy busybodies, and professional victims amongst us. I have full faith in its success because:

  • Revolutions typically need weapons of warfare. Many on the left are repulsed by guns so it’ll be a chance to see if they’re crafty enough to make bricks, graffiti, and a surly, superior attitude and bearing do the job.
  • Making my own decisions is getting so tiring. I really need someone half my age with twice my fashion sense making all big and little life choices for me.
So, um, Sky Shark, do you recommend a 30-year fixed or 15-year adjustable?
  • Everyone knows that systems and structures inevitably and without exception always give in and hand over authority when a small but loud, aggressive, unruly, hypersensitive contingent make enough noise and ruckus. We know it’s going to happen. Might as well get it over with.
  • The last ten years of hashtags, angry Tweets, pronoun malleating, and vociferous comment thread arguments have accomplished so very much for the common good. Young people who don’t read and don’t see the point in gaining marketable skills and who don’t feel like paying their student loan debts really know how to get stuff done. I don’t really see a downside.
  • No civilization has abolished racial hatred because changing the minds of others has traditionally been regarded as impossible. But these guys! Well, these guys are doing a bang-up job of it. And who woulda thunk being super racist to white people was the solution?
  • All national holidays stem from systemic racism and white supremacy. Having a steady, full time job where I make a comfortable middle-class wage, I’m eagerly looking forward to working those days instead of having them off with pay.
  • Capitalism never did nothin’ for nobody. Everyone who has ever lived under socialism and communism has had only glowing reviews of these systems. All reviews to be posted on Yelp once our glorious overlords have determined said consumer review curation and aggregation website is safe for public consumption.
  • I too, would like my student loans canceled because why live my life making choices and accepting the consequences when I can just, you know, not?
  • Every linguistic debate entails a sliding scale and spectrum because we’ve abolished all moral absolutes (outside of racism and Orange Man bad). Deal with it. Don’t like it? I’ll stage a mostly peaceful protest right outside your house and you can enjoy a mostly peaceful evening of mostly peaceful closet-cowering and mostly peaceful stanching of free-flowing wounds.

Sharpen your hashtags and avocado toast, people. It’s gonna be a wild ride!

Hey there, beloved reader! Don’t stop reading yet. I enjoy writing and creating content for you. Recently, I took on the Herculean task of fixing America and wrote a book on the subject; the very literal-titled “I’ll Fix America Tonight”. There is a a link where you can conveniently add the book to your Amazon cart (if you’re flush with about $20 in cash right now) or your wish list (if around $20 in cash is a little too much right now, but hypothetically not too much in the near future). Buy it, and help end poverty (namely my poverty). Thanks for reading!

Images taken from:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10233565/BLM-activist-says-Waukesha-Christmas-parade-horror-left-five-dead-linked-Rittenhouse-verdict.html

https://www.etsy.com/listing/853434415/12-13-mm-large-carved-wood-saw-hoop?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_a-jewelry-earrings-gauge_and_plug_earrings&utm_custom1=_k_CjwKCAiA4veMBhAMEiwAU4XRrzCdh9V7GZpnktxHuRtXG9ERxxCH3sy2d3-LjCt6Ue1CbAS6Gp980RoCMFoQAvD_BwE_k_&utm_content=go_12570713223_121181967002_507439359299_pla-323130941916_c__853434415_125348233&utm_custom2=12570713223&gclid=CjwKCAiA4veMBhAMEiwAU4XRrzCdh9V7GZpnktxHuRtXG9ERxxCH3sy2d3-LjCt6Ue1CbAS6Gp980RoCMFoQAvD_BwE

Originally published at https://bugle-bison-6aye.squarespace.com on November 24, 2021.

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Nathan Roberts

No insecurities. No mental health problems. Loads of confidence (possibly misplaced)